Friday, November 20, 2009


I feel like I need to write a fun blog for once. For those of you who know me fairly well, know that I am a hairy guy. It seems the older I get the Hairier I get; it sucks, I hate it, but I have to deal with it. This summer after much urging from my good friend Drew and my loving girlfriend I decided to take a long over due vacation to Maui.

Before I left I decided it was time to go get a good ol'fashion back waxing, Forty Year Old Virgin style. I had my girlfriend set me up with her favorite Vietnamese beautician to get my back done. This lady was awesome, yet crazy!!!!

First things first I had to do go in and have my back inspected in order to see if she would do it as well as give me an estimate for the service. I felt like I was going into an auto body shop, praying and hoping that she would do the job and not charge me an arm and leg for it. After a quick examination, with many "oh this is good" and "very nice" she agreed to do it for a mere $70; AWESOME.....

A few days later, I went in for my waxing appointment and found it to be one of the funniest experiences of my life. I was escorted to a back room, where I had to lay face down on what was basically a recliner (not very comfortable). While enduring the not so comfortable position and the ripping of my hair from my flesh, we had some enjoyable conversation about what I was doing and why I was not taking my wife (I'm not married, she's my girlfriend) to Hawaii with me. She did not understand that this was a guys vacation, and no lady friends were to come. All she kept saying to me was "why you no take yo wife", "yo wife must be must be mad at you, I am" and other fun things.

15 minutes later she finished, I went out to the front counter to pay her and continue on with my day, but she promptly told me to sit down and wait for my wife, as she needed to show her how to maintain my back. After 20 minutes of enduring the nice Vietnamese ladies talking about me in their native tongue while they filed away and finger nails, Meghan finally showed up after a shopping spree at Target. Once she walked in the lady jumped up to show Meghan how my hair grows on my back and how she needs to rub the Nair in this way and that way, using the pink bottle and for it to be on my back for no less then 15 minutes, every 3 weeks, speaking of which it's time.

So I was able to go to Maui with a nice smooth, hairless back, which I promptly burned the bejesus out of, Maui was awesome I can't wait to go back!!!!!

Friday, November 6, 2009

What would i do if I was given my death notice????

What would I do if I was given my death notice due to a terminal illness??? This idea comes from the news that I learned this week of my uncle who just found out he has cancer, and it has spread throughout his body and brain. He has since been transferred from the hospital to a nursing home to hopefully gain enough strength to sit around and wait to die.
I thought to myself what would I do, I know I would not be happy going to a nursing home, I hope to never end up in a nursing home, no matter how old or decrepit I get. If I had a terminal illness I think I would go ahead purchase a large amount of blow, a couple of hookers and go out having one hell of a time; just kidding, but I'm sure it would be a lot of fun. Instead I think I would take a piece out of the Christopher Mccandless book and go on an adventure into the wild, but unlike Mccandless though I would go there not come back. I would pack my gear, bid farewell to my friends and family and away I would go into the wilderness to survive. What away to go out, plus it would be rather cost effective for both myself and my family.